Tuesday, July 12, 2011

"I Hope We Never Part": Things I Learned from "Salute Your Shorts"

Salute Your Shorts is a great little slice of teenage Americana that helped me realize at a young age all that my summers could one day live up to, and that summer camp stereotypes really aren't that far off from real life. The most important things to take away from this show?

1. The "What Were You Thinking??" Romance: Now, I'm not saying anything as unfortunate as Dina's infatuation with Donkeylips happened to yours truly while at camp. But I have to cop to a couple of ill-advised crushes on my part. When you're being held captive at a secluded camp for any length of time, you forget all the fish in the sea, and instead focus in on all  the guys in the pool. They're probably immature, wearing hemp necklaces, dunking each other and showing off for any girl within a ten foot radius, but those boys--they suddenly start to look really good, don't they? Next thing you know, you're taking nature strolls together and sharing the same picnic blanket during a camp-wide viewing of "Steel Magnolias". You know...hypothetically.

2.  Unfortunate and sometimes entirely realistic nicknames: I used to think that "Salute Your Shorts" was disseminating the myth that you need to have an awesome nickname to attend camp (see: ZZ, Telly, Donkeylips, Sponge, Ug, Pinksy). I thought it was entirely outlandish to assume that just because I stepped within camp bounds that I'd suddenly receive a nickname stemming from some sort of inside joke with my friends. Totally bogus, right? Wrong. (Just ask my old camp friend, Roo). Then I went to college and realized the nicknames aren't just a camp thing. Nowadays, it is within the bounds of common human interaction to refer to someone almost exclusively as "Sweater Vest" or "Buzz".

3. Stupid haircuts are timeless: Just ask Budnick and his modified bowlcut/mullet hybrid. Mullets have (for the most part) gone the way of the dodo, but you totally know you once knew someone who had (or, conversely, had a crush on someone who had) one of the following hairstyles: cornrows, a bowlcut (for you post nineties kids, think of a modified Bieber), shaggy surfer hair, a mohawk. Its okay to admit this. You are not alone.

 thanks buzzsugar.com!

4.Camp Style: Questionable clothing choices ran my life during my tenure at camp. One summer I think I rocked more tie-dye than most people own in a life time.

I wouldn't change a thing about my camp memories.

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