Tuesday, May 24, 2011

your post-finale gossip girl fix

In mourning that Gossip Girl is on its summer hiatus? We are too. Luckily, it took us a full week to process what went down in last week's season finale...

On Georgina…

  • Krista: Why is she back?
  • Kristen: …why are her ears bigger?
  • Stacey's favorite Georgina line: "I haven't been this bored since I believed in Jesus."
  • Georgina is the Barney Stinson of Gossip Girl. She has a playbook! Oh, hey Barney! The Badger, the Melon Drop, the Spanish Prisoner.

On the Bar Mitzvah…

  • Krista: whatwhatwhatwhat WHAT are you doing?
  • Kristen: I want to be bar-mitzvah Blair's friend.
  • Stacey: what is this bar mitzvah?!? Mazel Tov, Joseph! At the future bar mitzvahs of my future children, they'll do the hora to Adele. And I plan on dancing like Blair mid-hora circle. Gossip Girl needs a good Jewish influence, and I accept this position.

(Also, please note that the three of us will be the new Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson and start crashing fancy DC bar mitzvahs. On it.)

On Charlie…

  • Kristen: They're still at the party, Charlie is still crazy, apparently, and the band is playing some song Krista and I will probably google later.
  • Stacey: How the heck did Charlie get a bartender's bottle of vodka, pour spout included? She probably would have fallen out the window already. She's a little unsteady on that ledge there. And how is she not schwasty anymore?

On Chuck Bass…

  • Kristen: One thing you really don't realize until you've watched the entire first season of GG in an extraordinarily short period of time with your roommates--Chuck's hair has REALLY gotten better. It's almost comical how much better, actually. (and how Vanessa's never did get better at all...)
  • Stacey: Chuck Bass, when did you become so dashing and gentlemanly?
  • Krista: so torn between Chuck and Louis.... Blair can take Chuck and I'll have Louis. k, good plan?

And on the other men of Gossip Girl...

  • Stacey: Sweet slicked back hair, Nate. And good job on backup in the warehouse… way to stand there and look pretty.
  • Kristen: No one gives Chuck any credit, but to be fair, its Nate and Dan who can't seem to keep it in their pants. They're powerless before the women on this show. Both have hooked up with Serena. Both have kissed Blair. Both have had weird, unfortunate relationships with Vanessa. Speaking of crazy, unfortunate relationships...Georgina is back.

On Vanessa...

  • Stacey: take me to Barcelona with you, V!
  • Krista: aw she's gonna publish his book- you sneaky bitch
  • Kristen: GO HOME, VANESSA. Stop reading everyone's shit.

Final thoughts from Stacey:

  • reunion at the van der Woodsen/Humphreys!
  • Hi, Serena-san!
  • Serena's new love interest looks too much like Dan… and Serena wouldn’t read or understand Fitzgerald

Final thoughts from Kristen:

  • Are we supposed to believe that a Zippo lighter is going to set the entire effing building on fire? Does that seem right to you?
  • Leave NY, Headmistress Kweller? Don't we all remember what happened when Serena left New York last time? Connecticut didn't end well for anyone. And nothing good came of Serena's gallivanting around the world with Carter Baizen, looking for her Papa van der Woodsen.

Final thoughts from Krista:

  • go hommmme Raina...it's been real with you, kthanksbye
  • during a commercial for the new X-Men movie: "are they making a POWER RANGERS movie?!?!"
  • S and V searching for the crazies together- YAYYYY TEAMWORK!

Cool, we're going to go finish season one and rewatch the entire series… in the next week. We're ready for season five now.

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